20 Wedding Anniversary Traditions With Strange Historical Origins

In 1897, Queen Victoria held a huge Diamond Jubilee to mark six decades on the throne. Europeans had previously insisted on 75 years for a “Diamond Wedding,” but the excitement around Victoria’s celebration, helped along by the jewelry industry’s marketing, quietly changed the number to 60 years. No law was passed, but etiquette authorities just went along with it.

The Polterabend (meaning “boisterous evening” in German) consists of neighbors and family members throwing plates, jugs, and ceramic tiles on the couple’s front door. This tradition stems from the saying Scherben bringen Glück (shards bring luck) because it was thought the loud clattering would frighten off evil spirits. It also became associated with a 20th wedding anniversary. One golden rule of the event, however, is that glass and mirrors should never be broken, which is supposed to lead to seven years of bad luck. Plus, the couple has to clean up after themselves.

In medieval Central Europe, a couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, known as Goldene Hochzeit (“Golden Wedding”), was considered worthy of a public blessing in towns throughout Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. A man, either the husband, a priest, or a community elder, would place a wreath of gold leaf or gilded wire on the wife’s head before the entire town. Reaching this half-century milestone was a civic event, not merely a private one.

Barnum’s famous dwarf was Charles Stratton, who went by the stage name General Tom Thumb. He married another Barnum performer named Lavinia Warren in 1863, and the couple’s New York City wedding was a national news story. For decades after, some Americans on their 50th wedding anniversary threw what they called “a Tom Thumb Wedding,” dressing up local children in miniature tuxedos and dresses for a ceremony that reenacted the couple’s wedding day.

For centuries, the English village of Little Dunmow has maintained a custom dating back to the Middle Ages. It is the Court of the Flitch of Bacon, in which married couples stand trial in front of a jury of single men and women, and must swear an oath that they have gone a year and a day without so much as a single argument or regret. The first documented flitch of bacon was presented in 1445. It consisted of a side of salted pork, for which the couple had to kneel upon the rocks and pledge their troth in rhyme. American boxing slang gave us the phrase “bringing home the bacon” in 1906, which has nothing to do with Dunmow.

The 12 1/2 year anniversary, exactly halfway to the 25-year silver anniversary, became its own festival in Copenhagen called Kobberbryllup, or “Copper Wedding,” and it caught on throughout Denmark. The night before, friends sneakily build a half-archway made of pine boughs across the couple’s front door, then appear first thing in the morning with brass instruments to serenade the pair out of bed, and then share breakfast with them.

In Central Europe, the 25th anniversary of a marriage was called the Silberne Hochzeit (“Silver Wedding”). At a public feast, the wife would be crowned with a silver wreath or circlet. The custom is first mentioned in print in the 18th century, in the 1798 play Die silberne Hochzeit by the German playwright August von Kotzebue, but may have been even older.

In France, the custom of serenading newlyweds or anniversary couples with much noise was called charivari; in North America, the tradition came to be known as a shivaree, and at first it was a rather noisy form of teasing. On a given evening, for a wedding or anniversary, say, a crowd of neighbors would assemble outside the home of the married couple and bang away on pots and pans, blow horns and ring cowbells until the couple yielded with refreshments or cash. By the late 19th century, in towns and villages across America, a shivaree was something couples could look forward to.

Cut crystal was the official gift for 15 years of marriage for Central and Eastern European communities, as they chose a material that represented the transparency and clarity of their relationship. During formal banquets, guests would offer a toast with wine in the finest crystal goblets. They would then break the glasses on the floor so that no inferior toast would be consumed from them ever again.

In 1917, King George V created a program for Royal Household members to send cards and telegrams to couples on their 60th wedding anniversary.

Between about 1850 and 1890, a tin wedding marked ten years of marriage in the United States. It was not to be a solemn affair. Etiquette books recommended teasing the newlywed pair, and tinsmiths responded with humorous tin novelties like top hats, slippers, and huge spectacles. To complete the effect, the guests dined from tin plates and tin cups.

Many people think that the third wedding anniversary is leather because of medieval guilds; however, it wasn’t until the mid-1800s that this was established as the traditional gift in Victorian etiquette books. The logic was that leather was a strong and flexible material that would protect what was within it and so represented a marriage that was no longer fragile, but stronger, more durable, and protective.

The seventh wedding anniversary actually has two different symbols, copper and wool. Copper was related to the Roman goddess Venus, who was worshipped in Cyprus, which had many copper mines. Wool came from the wool growers of northern Europe. Coppersmiths made copper kettles and pots, while wool weavers produced plaid blankets and shawls, both useful to “preserve warmth” on the seventh anniversary of a wedding.

Between the 1860s and 1930s, bakers throughout Great Britain and North America would insert silver sixpences, or occasionally gold coins, into parchment paper and bake them into the bottom layer of stacked anniversary cakes. Anyone who discovered the coin in their slice was thought to be lucky and would receive a windfall of money, providing a fun twist on sweets for special occasions.

In mid-to-late 19th-century America, couples celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary with Calico Weddings, where attendees donned calico dresses and cravats, calico being a cheap, brightly printed cotton fabric. Gifts included cotton quilts, aprons, and handkerchiefs. Meanwhile, in the rural areas of Central and Northern Europe, people referred to their 2nd wedding anniversary as “Strohhochzeit” (“Straw Wedding”) and adorned themselves with braided straw wreaths and mats, symbolic of the first, happy, but fragile, home they’d built together.

In German-speaking Central Europe, a couple’s 6th wedding anniversary was called Zuckerhochzeit, or “Sugar Wedding.” It was thought that after six years, the daily routine of married life had begun to take its toll, and it was time to add some sweetness back into the marriage. Guests would bring along sugar cones, marzipan, and other honeyed sweets to decorate the home. British etiquette guides of the period assigned iron to the 6th year instead, for the strength of forged metal.

In 1873, “Silver Threads Among the Gold” appeared. The sentimental ballad had words by Eben E. Rexford and the music by Hart Pease Danks. It began, “Darling, I am growing old, silver threads among the gold.” Over 3 million copies of the sheet music were sold, and singing the song at 50th wedding anniversaries in the Victorian and Edwardian eras was almost mandatory at banquets during toasts to the elderly pair.

In Wales, a suitor or husband would give his partner a carved wooden spoon, called a love spoon, to prove his skill and love in making it. The 19th-century milestone guides for Britain and America chose wood as the fifth-anniversary gift and recommended the husband carve a kitchen implement, bowl, or box to represent that the marriage was “established” or “rooted” in something practical and supportive.

An 1859 edition of the Old Farmer’s Almanac suggested paper presents for newlyweds in Britain and North America. This recommendation made sense because paper symbolized a fresh start for the pair, as well as something affordable for a new home that might not yet be able to afford more expensive items. Examples included handwritten love letters, sentiment books, and folded paper artwork.

Because of the old Celtic and Germanic belief that the oak was sacred to the thunder gods, European publishers of lists of anniversary gifts in the late 19th century assigned the rarest, the 80th anniversary, to the oak. With its deep roots and survival through so many storms, it was selected as the gift for the couple that reached 80 years together. It’s the most unassuming gift on the list, and the most difficult to reach.

This content was created with the help of AI.