Why Victorian Widows Were Expected To Wear Mourning Clothes For Years

Queen Victoria was heartbroken when her husband, Prince Albert, passed away in 1861. For the rest of her life (nearly 40 years), she remained in mourning and only wore black. While mourning dress existed well before Albert’s death, the Queen popularized it. She was a trendsetter, and widows began wearing mourning attire for years after their husbands’ deaths.

Mourning attire wasn’t as simple as just wearing black; there were specific rules a woman had to follow depending on her relationship to the deceased. And if you didn’t know the rules? No stress, they were stated in popular women’s magazines like Godey’s Lady’s Book and The Englishwoman’s Domestic Magazine.

If you’re wondering where the men fit into all the mourning-attire rules, they didn’t have to follow the same expectations as women. They were simply expected to return to work, only needing to wear a dark suit or black armband for a short period. It was the woman’s job to represent the grief of the entire household.

Only widows had to dress in mourning for years (two to two-and-a-half years). If someone was mourning a parent or child, they were given a year. For a sibling, six months, and for distant relatives like cousins, this could vary between six weeks and three months.

Have no fear! Women weren’t stuck in the same outfit for years. They changed their attire based on the stage of grief they were in. During Full Mourning, which was one year and a day for widows, women had to wear head-to-toe black. The fabric needed to be made of non-reflective materials. Anything shiny was associated with celebration, and these women needed to represent the opposite of that.

The specific fabric that mourners had to wear was Courtauld’s English crape (crêpe). This was a heavy, crimped silk woven to have a matte texture. The appearance was very dull and definitely wouldn’t help lift anyone’s spirits.

Queen Victoria popularized white veils for weddings, but did you know that veils were also worn by widows? Instead of white, dreamy ones, they wore these heavy, floor-length black crape veils anytime they stepped outdoors. The veil was meant to signal to outsiders that the widow was in mourning and should be treated with distance and respect.

Once a year had passed, a widow entered the next stage of mourning: Second Mourning, which lasted about nine months. She could get rid of the heavy veil, and she wasn’t confined to crape dresses. Dull black silks like grosgrain and parramatta were permitted.

The final six months of a widow’s required mourning period were called Half Mourning. In this stage, women didn’t have to wear only black. They could finally introduce color into the mix. Muted colors like lavender, lilac, gray, and dull white were perfectly acceptable.

Unfortunately, the chemical dyes and stiffeners used to process black crape were extremely toxic. These mourning dresses contained arsenic and heavy metals and could cause skin rashes, respiratory troubles, and sometimes even blindness. These poor women were already going through enough!

The black fabric of a widow’s dress also stained her skin. This happened especially if it was hot outside. Skin irritation was therefore common if you were a widow.

Oh, and those heavy veils widows had to wear? Those weren’t ideal either, as they were pretty difficult to see or breathe through, uncomfortable, and hot. Plus, the dye particles of the veils often got into their eyes, causing eye irritation.

So, with all the health issues caused by toxic mourning attire, what would happen if a woman decided, you know what, I’m not going to wear my mourning attire today? Well, she’d likely face harsh social judgment and disapproval, which was no small thing for a Victorian woman.

You would hope that if society expected you to purchase an entire new wardrobe while in mourning, there would at least be affordable options. But nope, these items weren’t cheap, and working-class families found themselves in debt trying to update their closets.

Because there were so many specific rules for mourners, they needed designated places to shop. Mourning Warehouses were created to serve this very purpose. For example, Jay’s Mourning Warehouse in London sold everything from pre-dyed gowns to black undergarments.

If you couldn’t afford to shop at a mourning warehouse, you usually had to dye your existing wardrobe to make do. Dyeing your clothes yourself was very risky, though, often resulting in patchy, dull brown shades. Wealthier neighbors would definitely notice the difference, but sometimes that was the best some women could do.

Mourning attire wasn’t only about the clothes you wore; you also couldn’t walk around in bright gold and diamond jewelry. And colored gemstones? Forget it. Women instead wore jewelry made from Whitby jet, vulcanite, French glass, and black enamel.

You’ll either think this custom is very sweet or utterly creepy. I think I fall in the middle. To feel close to their loved ones who passed, women would weave locks of the deceased’s hair into brooches, rings, and watch chains. It was their way of carrying a small piece of their loved one with them every day.

So, what happened when the mourning period was finally over? Well, women were expected to get rid of their mourning clothes as soon as possible, as it was seen as bad luck to keep them. Women would usually end up burning or throwing away their mourning gowns, meaning if another family member died, they’d need to buy a whole new wardrobe.

While many of us still wear black today to mourn loved ones, the expectation to wear mourning clothes for years after their deaths ended during World War I. Due to the massive loss of life, long-term mourning became economically unfeasible, and the constant sight of mourning families was seen as a blow to wartime morale.

This content was created with the help of AI.